The Lone Minister

Ever since I was little, I could never stand seeing other people do well. Grandfather said there was no room in our family for a petty wretch like me-but the imperial court had plenty. So I disguised myself as a man and entered officialdom. Who would have thought my envy problem would only get worse? Pure Stream, Turbid Stream-why were all of them so filthy rich? So I impeached you, then impeached him, writing memorials until my hand went numb. Every faction thought I was an eyesore. I simply grabbed my hu tablet and fought my way right into the thick of them. The Grand Secretary monopolized power and threw the court into chaos, and before stepping down, he even tried to recommend his own son as his successor. Why should he get a father to pave his road to glory for him? To hell with that! Old bastard, if I pick up paper and brush, I can’t beat you; if I put them down, I can’t impeach you. Good thing I have a hu tablet-I can beat you while impeaching you. “Beloved minister, why does the color of your hu tablet look off?” “Your Majesty has a keen eye. I just had it replaced with an iron one today!”