Give Me Back My Girlfriend

Before bed, I sent my online boyfriend a message: [Baby, if someone adds you as a friend, just say you’re my brother, okay?] I went to sleep. He lost his mind. 1:00 a.m.: [Am I number three or number four?] 2:00 a.m.: [Don’t tell me I’m number five. You never used to make me be the side guy.] 3:00 a.m.: [Let’s break up. Unless you let me be number two… At the very least, I have to be number three. I can’t go any lower.] 4:00 a.m.: [Waaaah, no, no breakup, I don’t want to break up. I just wanted to rank a little higher. Actually, being number five is great too. Five blessings at the door, abundant harvests, colorful and splendid… Baby, please answer me, okay?] At five in the morning, a top celebrity’s post demanding justice shot onto the trending list. #GiveMeBackMyRealGirlfriend#